two months

oh, sweet baby...you're two months old

You sure have grown since last month, not only physically but emotionally. We have thoroughly enjoyed this month. Sure we have a funny sleep pattern with you- but you're wonderful and a much happier baby.

What you have been up to this second month:

• you now smile beautifully all the time and have your own baby noises trying to laugh at us- it's adorable.
• you are 11 lbs 3 ounces (which is 3 lbs 9 ounces since birth).... we think you are huge, but people still think you're small.
• you are working on putting your fist in your mouth instead of a pacifier- we are all for it
• you just found your toes, but you know not what to do with them nor how to reach them
• we swaddle you every night, and even though you hate it you are slowly giving in.
• you do however fight the urge to sleep... all of the time. We have to force it upon you otherwise we deal with hours of grumpies.
• you are so intently taking in your environment... you can see further now and watch everything in your world. we call you our little bullfrog, because your eyes bulge out of your head when you are really focusing hard... you are learning so much
• you sleep in 3-4 hour stretches at night, now we just need that to be in your crib.
• we found a fun toy to use with your stuffy nose...the nose frieda. it's gross. your dad loves it.
• you had your 2 month shots, and we have never heard you wail so loudly. your dad and I welled up with tears.... but ultimately we were so happy that it was the first time we heard such a sad cry... we must be doing something right.

i passed.

Big news... I'm a nurse!!! Yep, that's right, I have an RN that follows my name now... only 3 years in the making. Pretty fantastic. Oh yea...which means my maternity leave is over and I start work tomorrow morning. Well, no time like the present to have a glass of celebratory wine.

first father's day

Today is matt's first father's day. We are barbecuing steaks and chillin outside. It should be a wonderful day. We will be enjoying our daughter that we made from scratch and what an incredible dad matt already is. He says that she is his new favorite person...his best friend, and I don't doubt it for a second. That big ol' hairy guy loves his teeny tiny daughter more than anything....it's beyond what I ever imagined possible.

So, this is a father's day photocard cora I made for matt... from my iphone photos. I put three photos in picframe (an app on the iphone) that puts them in cute little boxes, smushed together. I used to edit photos in adobe, but gosh...this little app is way easier and way quicker (is that a word?!). If we didn't have iphones, I swear we wouldn't have any photos of cora. It's just so handy. Anyways, I took the photos, put them in the app which creates a square picture just like instagram, and emailed it to myself. I added in the text, over the hop plants in adobe and I also wanted it to be a square card...so I edited it to be 5"x5" then put 2" extra on the side of just plain white. I then uploaded it onto costco's website as a 5"x7" photo and ordered the print montage for $0.39...in one hour it was done! I then just cut off the white extra 2"...and ta-da.... DIY photo card!

And what the heck does the card mean?! So it's no big mystery, if you know matt... you know he loves beer. Well we have hops growing in our yard- pictured above. They are actually quite pretty plants. Matt talks about how he wants cora's first word to be hops- instead of pops, for dad. I think that's ridiculous... but he also has full control (ie. brain washing abilities) of her while I am at work, so we shall see. So a card with two of his loves... beer and cora... I figured I couldn't go wrong.

happy father's day matt....we love you

bath time!

[her first sponge bath at home...only a few days old]

[bath time at 6 weeks]

Bath time is by far one my most favorite activities to do with cora. We started off doing the sponge bath before her umbilical cord fell off. She loved those, especially when we would get her head wet. Then when it came time for "real" baths she loved it. We bought this little lounge chair for cora in the bathtub...it's the best $7 we've spent. It has been absolutely perfect. It holds her head above the water level, allowing me to wash her with one hand while I stabilize her with the other (just-in-case hand for her wiggle-worm body). Then I push the chair aside and let her swim in the tub, while I hold her head above the water and the rest of her floats. We have a clawfoot tub....and it is just the perfect size for her to do little side pushes like her very own cora-sized pool. She is adorable. She flails about, does frog kicks off the side, and her tiny hair whispies float in the water current.

The only downfall is when I take her out of the bath- she hates it. Any suggestions to make it better? We tried heating the bathroom- to make the transition less shocking- that proved to not help, I eliminated the dreaded lotion putting on that she hates, and I dry her off as quickly as possible... and shhhh....I even try to breastfeed her after the bath to satisfy her- it's hit or miss.

Anyways, we are really looking forward to swimming with cora in a big pool, I suppose we have to wait until she is 6 months old- that's what my internet searches have told me. It will be a hoot and a half. Until then, I will enjoy our nightly bath time routine.

**And wish me luck... tomorrow I take my nursing boards!!**

2 year wedding anniversary!

 It has been two years since we had our glorious wedding day. Want to reminisce with me?! Here is our old wedding blog. It was an incredible weekend filled with love, friendship, and lots of laughter- it was perfect, thanks to all of our friends and family. I would do it all over again...the party...our loved ones in town...rafting...idaho wilderness...the great food...but maybe leave out the stress of making a million decisions with hosting a wedding endeavor. Yes, that would be ideal- every year...a wedding reunion!

...flowers from the husband this morning... it has maybe been years since I have gotten flowers...they were even delivered to the house for when he knew I was at home hanging out with cora and he was sleeping- pretty sweet.

(we do "sleep shifts"... to be able to tend to cora round the clock. Ha! More on that later when I feel like we are turning a corner and can look back and just laugh about the sleep training nights)

yes, i graduated!

Well a belated update.... I did graduate nursing school.... yay!! I attended my pinning ceremony that I talked about [here] with anticipation. (This was early in May, so Cora was 3 weeks old...and I was still recovering...) It was amazing though that Matt and Cora were able to pin me (and that we all made it out of the house showered, with clean clothes on... aaaa-mazing!!). This was something we weren't sure we could pull off. But she sat through the long ceremony of about an hour without crying...then matt walked across the stage with her while she was contently awake. He handed her off to me (without a fumble) and pinned my nursing pin on me. We had about 200 "ooohhhh's" from the audience... it was pretty sweet. This was the main reason I wanted to attend my pinning ceremony...so that Cora could be there. It was a big deal. Throughout my nursing education I became a wife, a mother, and a nurse.... pretty great 3 years! Jam packed to say the least. And all with the support of my incredible husband. We did it!!

Now, I am studying for the NCLEX- the nursing boards. Super intimidating....not something one should fail. I take it in a week....then my maternity leave will be over and I start my very first nursing job. Wahhoo!! Then I can just breathe easy, I can't wait. Taking time to study every day without seeing Cora for a few hours is grueling. Plus, my mind has just been in eat-sleep-poop-mode for the past month and a half. So, studying is challenging, but a must do. Almost done... then I can go through all the emotions that will coincide with returning back to work, away from my sweet babe.

small feats...

[our boba with cora sporting her koala-ear beanie]

I just have to quickly mention that Cora and I made it to the grocery store... alone and successfully! I had her attached to me in our Boba carrier and I pushed the cart. This carrier is amazing, not only is it adorable.... but super helpful. (We have this one in "tweet"... so freaking cute, and it would work for a baby boy too- most of our bigger ticket items are gender neutral). Actually to be truthful, she hates it when I slide her into it. But, every day we go on an hour long walk with her in it, so she is used to it and falls right to sleep after her fussies diminish. Most people I see use a carseat in the cart when shopping- but our little cora has reflux, so normally that position is not comfy for her. I am still in awe that we made it to Winco for about an hour.... no crying! I don't know what my back-up plan would have been- leave the cart full of groceries and go home? Not sure on this one. When I came home to tell matt about our incredible adventure into the real world....he was impressed and replied that I was such a mom today- one of them multi-tasking moms. Awesome!

high contrast.

...cora learning about jellyfish from dad...umm adorable, this melts my heart...

You may know that infants love high contrast cards, books, and toys. In the beginning they can really only differentiate between black, white, and red, which helps to develop their vision. I don't really like black and white, and definitely not red, so in my pre-baby nursery planning...I chose to ignore this developmental step. Bad idea.... Cora loves black and white. Her nursery is rather soothing in a soft grey and white trim... with her white crib- she loves her spud room. This maybe because she doesn't actually sleep in her room...but regardless, it's her favorite room. But her walls were a little lacking.

I noticed in the first few weeks that she loved being read stories, but would loose interest (of course, she's brand new how long can her attention span be?!) Until, I ran out to barnes and noble and scoured the shelves for anything black and white. Surprisingly there wasn't much to choose from, but I found a few books that would do (like- Kitten's First Full Moon and this soft fun book-Where's My Bone). I then went online and ordered these-wee gallery art cards. I hung them up on the wall....and voila.... instant gratification...literally 10-15 minutes of pure amusement. Our little cora is so enthralled by these cards, it's amazing. She was very ready for some high contrast cards.... forget this green and turquoise room I put together for her- she wanted black and white only. Thankfully we have a few more sets of these rather spendy flash cards from her aunt... so we rotate the cards up on the wall so she learns about all sorts of animals.

I will be also making her a simple black and white book of her very own on shutterfly. I get coupons for free 8x8 books in the mail...well why not make a high contrast book?! Super fun. Somehow I have to find time to do that now, before she leaves this developmental stage.

goodbye little newborn stage...

So, I have to say goodbye to our little spud's newborn stage. It's hard for me to pack up her tiny "newborn" clothes. Will we be able to use them for our next little girl babe? Will they be dolly dress up clothes one day? Will they be worn by a niece one day? Who knows, but these were Cora's first outfits.... her first outfits that I noticed her filling out and growing out of...it's weirdly sentimental for me. So it's onto the 0-3 and 3-6 month clothing.... oh, how big she is growing literally in front of our eyes.

*and yes, we are already planning for a second babe (perhaps a homegrown tater tot). hormones are unbelievable. it will be in a few years if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again. but we want more of this. this is amazing*

motherhood.

[and yes, that is our little 2 week old spud holding her own head up.... what the heck, she has a strong neck]

Motherhood is a trip. It's nothing like I expected....as a matter of fact if you take any thoughts, notions, or expectations I had in the previous posts on my blog about what parenthood would be like I was wrong. Like I thought I wanted to do natural childbirth- WRONG. I thought I would keep all of the plastic crap/ devices out of our house- WRONG. Anything that will keep our little cora happy we have- swings, bouncy chairs, plastic bottles- not my beautiful glass bottles that have too high of a flow creating painful gas. I thought we could resume life, go camping this maternity leave- WRONG.... and that was just plain silliness. I thought I had a tough time sleeping during pregnancy- WRONG.

Oh, motherhood. I know so much more now.

After Cora turned about one month life got a bit better for us. Not to say life was bad in the first month.... it was just uber challenging, sleep deprived, and borderline...what the hell did we just do? We loved our life of just matt and I and the dogs.... we loved pregnancy.... we did not expect what was to come- even though we thought we were as ready as anyone could be. So I had to recover from child birth, adapt to our new life with a newborn, but also kind of mourn our old life. This was the new us... and it will get fantastic again.

Now, however, Cora has more happy hours than sad ones.... she is smiling, little laughs, she loves bath time, she notices our facial expressions, her awake time is increasing and with less crying.... we are getting the hang of parenting, we are understanding our daughter and feeling less incompetent, the google-ing late at night for terms like " fussy baby, sleep solutions, crying, gas, reflux...etc..." has decreased. We can see our life coming back...not just yet, but it will....and it will be a brand new incredible life we've never experienced before.

I was also wrong on a few more things... I thought I could handle leaving the house after she was born... I was wrong... I crave to be near her, to smell her, to stare at her little tiny body for hours on end. I can't stand to be away even now writing this post. Our sweet little girl needs to be held every second of the day.... but I love that time more than anything. I'd rather be holding her than eating, sleeping, shopping... anything. I love her more than I knew I would. I feel like a mom already...and I love it. I had no idea how strong this love would be and so quickly.

I hardly have time to reflect on what a journey this has been already. It's not like the endless hours during pregnancy that I had to reflect and process being pregnant...blog endlessly...and just sit and think. No, I don't have time to do all of that now.... but it's ok. I feel like the emotions I have are huge and may take me over if I tried to process what just happened in our life. Motherhood. Parenthood. Crazy huge amazing deal.

one month!!

Oh Cora... you're one month old today. Time sure does fly.

I will be doing monthly photos of our dear Cora now. The quilt she is lying on is made by her grandma....and I will be placing her on it for our monthly photos to have a cute backdrop to gauge just how much she has grown.

Our little wiggle worm had about 50 out-takes to get to this one. I can only imagine it will get trickier!

I will also be making a snapfish-type photo book at the end of the year of all 12 months of cora-dom, with a little synopsis of what she was up to each month of her life.  So stay tuned friends and family for our monthly updates!

What you were up to this first month:

• your favorite only way to sleep is on our chest, tummy down...skin to skin....all of the time.
• tummy time is also your favorite... so we now do scheduled on-your-back-time
• you go from happy to sad within seconds usually with screeching involved...this usually makes your dad and I feel inept at parenting...but bare with us, we are learning.
• swaddling is not your cup of tea, but you need it to fall asleep with your wiggling body
• you are so very strong you can even roll yourself from side to side, which we are pretty sure shouldn't happen just yet
• you just mastered breastfeeding a day before you turned 1 month... way to go cora!
• you LOVE to hear your dad play guitar....you are mesmerized by the sounds and his hand movement
• you love bath time, attempting to swim in the big tub...however just like your dad you don't care for lotion
• we don't do flat surfaces now...we do inclines everywhere for your reflux, that we foolishly hope will pass any day now
• you are packing on the pounds and growing like crazy....you have probably already gained 2 pounds since birth
• you are just noticing faces and expressions...we like to think you are practicing smiling at us, we can't wait to see a real one
• you like to talk, "sing" and grunt when you are drinking, it's adorable. Just please keep to the drinking and less of the choking
• we love you with all of our tired hearts....please get more sleep and cry less next month.

a spud birth story.

[just got the gown on at check in]

Read about part 1 of spud's birth story [here]. Hold on folks...this is a whopper of a post.

Here is part two... spud's birth story...only fitting to be posted on my very first mother's day. Happy mother's day to all of you out there! Being a mom is fantastically amazing...no small feat.

1am

We called the maternity center, and told them that I thought my water broke... they said come on in. So we gathered up our hospital bag....and headed out the door.

2am

After matt and I excitedly got into the car with my mild contractions, we realized just down the street that he didn't pack any pants for himself. Ha. So we turned around, it was rather funny... probably because my contractions were just about nothing at this point.So we get to the hospital at 2am.

They checked my cervix...I was only a 1. ONE?! wtf. I was a one the week before. So, they really didn't believe me that my water broke, and I was kind of doubting it too. They said they might not keep me... but they did an amnisure test, two of them to be exact, to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. They were positive.... so I was guaranteed a baby in the next 24 hours. Yay! This was pretty exciting news. Holy shit we are having a baby today.

[pain is getting worse...]

[matt's excitement, hard to contain at this point]

3am

We waited for my midwife to come in... and maybe see if my labor would progress. I was 2 cm dilated, nothing big. But my contractions were picking up. I couldn't talk through them at this point. We were calling the grandparents... laughing... super excited.

We went over our birth plan with our midwife again...yes I wanted natural birth...no medications...peaceful delivery, healthy baby.

HA!

4am

This is probably when the excitement died...and gave way to extreme pain. Seriously the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Like bone ripping apart pain. I couldn't stand nor walk- so those lamaze class prep for positions/walking/etc went straight out the window. I was okay in between the contractions, but they were coming on quick, on top of each other without much rest. I was shaking in between the contractions- which I thought may have been transitioning- no such luck. All I could do was sit, and listen to my dear husband tell me on the monitor when I was 1/2 way through each contraction and hand me ice water. He was fantastic.

[ oh, yes there was that pain]

7am

 I was still dilated to 2cm. I asked for the epidural. My midwife said.... how about you take a bath first. Had I not been contracting I would have thought this was hilarious. Sure, a bath will miraculously take away all my pain. But I was game. Let's do the bath, then the epidural.

8am

 I was 4 cm dilated. I got the epidural. Hell yeah. This epidural was fantastic. The IV start, lumbar poke- no biggie now. I had crazy mind blowing contractions that now were my basis for 10 out of 10 pain on the pain scale. Nothing else compares in life now. Birthing a human is painful. But an epidural was definitely the way to go for me. Fantastic. Natural childbirth. HA. I was so silly. My pain tolerance is not as high as I thought. Hats off to women who can endure without the epidural... or any childbirth. This is a challenging task.

9am

I kept on progressing....without pain now. Little spud's heart rate would decelerate, nurses would rush in....flip me to my other side...then tell me to rest.

The epidural was unbelievably amazing. All was good again in the world. The excitement came back. We laughed about how silly I was... it was grand. Matt got to have me, his wife, back again without intense pain. It was also surprising I could feel my legs, they were a little tingly...I could even move my legs and flip from side to side a little. But no contraction pain. I couldn't even feel the contractions- it felt a little like cheating at labor.

 

[oh the wonderful epidural]

[we were finally able to listen to music once the epidural kicked in...before that point it was too chaotic with the pain]

[external monitoring and bracelets galore]

12pm

They checked me again... I was now 6cm dilated. They don't do cervical checks as often once your water breaks for risk of infection etc. I was just to tell them when I thought I needed to take a dump....for it probably meant the baby was in the birthing canal. I asked the nurse anesthetist if he could please turn down the epidural. He did such a fantastic job, but I really felt like I was missing out. I wanted some of the pain back. I wanted to feel little spud moving about for just one more day....our last day. I loved being pregnant...I loved our bond. Anyways, he thought I was crazy, but he turned it down a bit.

2pm

I told the nurses that I was shaking a bit, uncontrollably. Now this was my transition. They checked and I was 9cm dilated!!!

3pm

A few minutes later I was complete- 10 cm dilated!! Everyone got in their places.... midwife, nurses, infant warmer, matt washed his hands (getting ready to touch our little baby). We were game. She turned off my epidural, and said that I should have a baby in about 5 minutes... she could see her little head. So I pushed. And pushed. And pushed some more.

4pm

Now this was more painful than my contractions pre-epidural. Holy shit. I could feel everything....and it wasn't just for 5 minutes. I had been pushing for an hour and a half now sans epidural. I was getting exhausted. I believe I might have asked for the vacuum to be used.... episiotomy- that sounded like a fabulous idea. Hell cut the baby out of me....c-section anyone?! My midwife said no to the vacuum, that at this point she would have taken the vacuum off.  Her little head was crowning...matt could see it... he was in disbelief. My midwife asked if I wanted to feel her head.... I said eww. no thanks.

4:49pm

I pushed with all of my might...and then I heard my midwife say...Lindsey use two hands!! What?! Lindsey use two hands!!!- and I looked down to see and I grabbed our little cora with my two hands and pulled her out of my body and onto my belly. Holy shit. This was unbelievable, is this even possible?? Did this just happen?? Matt was in awe.... I was blown away... this little human I pulled out of myself was ours! This was our cora.... all hot and red and beautiful and healthy.

Matt cut the cord... they checked her out. Super APGAR scores... Cora Elm was born at 4:49pm April 18th 2012. She was 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and 19" long.

 We tried to breastfeed right away and I thought we had a latch. I hemorrhaged a lot... got pitocin... hemorrhaged more. Whatevs. The fundal massages just about killed me though- where the nurses press on your uterus through your belly to get it to stop bleeding and cramp up. But it was all fine. I'm a mom!! Matt's a dad!! This is crazy.

 

12am

We made it to our postpartum room...very nice....but I just knew we had to go asap. We asked to leave 24 hours after delivery....which was their minimum length of stay possible. Sure, cora wasn't latching.... just had her frenulum cut (tongue tied)....she wouldn't stop crying...matt and I hadn't slept more than 1 hour in 48 hours. But we were done. We wanted to go home. We could be better parents in our own home, less stress. So we left the next day at 5pm as parents, with our little Cora in the back seat. What an unbelievable day.

hospital bag revisited...

So I thought I should re-visit this hospital list that I made back [here]. Some of things were great, others were silly. We had a normal delivery, healthy baby, but a fussy baby. We have been in survival mode every since delivery trying to figure out how to soothe our babe.... so that may have changed a few of our items and hospital stay. But, perhaps this could help the preggers out there trying to pack realistically.

The green writing is what I would change for next time....

Hospital Bag:

• camera- a point and shoot for matt to use...that does black and white for my unflattering labor pictures.-the black and white pictures I love... except we had the shades drawn and lights off for me to focus on being calm...so all of our photos are dark. Ooops. Next time we will know.
• music- our iphones with playlists and pandora and little speaker Pandora wouldn't work for some reason in the hospital, so we had music from our iphones... it was great with the epidural... but during real painful contractions music made me nauseated. I needed silence and my dear husband telling me I could make it through.
• camera and iphone battery charger
• chap stick.... maybe two of them.
• my own disolveable zofran... can I take this while laboring? My least favorite thing in the world is vomiting. I will ask this of our midwife next appointment Funny thing, Matt was the only one to use Zofran. Right before I was going to start pushing matt felt like he was going to pass out or hurl....or a combination of the two. He is a big guy mind you....so I told him to take a zofran and put a chair behind him just in case. He was wonderful about 1 minute after taking the zofran. It was just such an exciting time, so many nerves.
• snacks- I get rather cranky without food...crackers, cheese, granola bars, peanut butter, veggies Thank god I packed powerbars and granola bars- these were crucial. It's the only thing I ate my whole stay.
• matt's swim trunks for the standing jacuzzi- didn't get to the jacuzzi. walking was just not possible for me with the pain.
• matt's change of clothes/ pajamas
• matt's toiletries
• after delivery lounge wear... fresh, clean yoga pants, tank top, sweat shirt- oh man, I hated the hospital nursing gown. It was huge and cumbersome. I just wanted to be naked with my frustrated non-latching little baby. So I took a shower and changed into my own clothes in the middle of the night after we got to the post partum room.
• flip flops
• travel sized: shampoo, conditioner, face soap, face and body lotion, tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant
• makeup (the little makeup I do wear, I don't want to do without)
• hair dryer and curling rod (if I didn't have a short-styled hair cut, I could do without this stuff...but alas, I do. No ponytails for me)- didn't use the curling iron... and they had a hair dryer. It was nice to look "normal" again after being so bloody and goopy.
• spud journal to write about our experiences that I don't want to forget-still haven't gotten around to writing in this. Too stressful with all of the crying and not eating....survival mode I tell ya.
• one newborn pajama and one 0-3 pajama to go home in... extra snugly with fold over mittens and footies-the newborn PJs were even a bit big. She was alot tinier than we thought she would be.
• one blanket to swaddle/cover her on our way home
• infant nail clippers (this is silly, but the hospital can't cut your baby's nails, and I think it would drive me crazy...some of them are so very long! I don't want her to scratch herself)- we did use these! Her nails were very long!!
• car seat safely installed in car
• box of candy for the nurses...maybe I like this sentiment because I will be a nurse soon? But screw it I like it, and I'm doing it. - I thought for sure I'd deliver after being induced like a week after I ended up giving birth. So I thought I had time to buy the candy and put it off. Oh well.
• I did have my own motrin with me, which was great. I got tired of asking for pain meds, and I didn't want narcotics. I was in quite a bit of pain after delivery so I wanted to stay ontop of it myself.

Stuff I don't think I need:

• pads, underwear, my own hospital gown... this birthing process and recovery is bloody and gooey. I'd rather use their disposable gear or they-wash-it clothing- very true. I loved their pads.... LOTS of bleeding. Their underwear however were awful...I think because I was too large for them (umm... 56 pound weight gain anyone?! yeah.) I wore my own maternity undies.
• diaper bag, lots of baby clothes, pacifiers, diapers...they supply all of this- I wish we had brought a pacifier. It would have made things easier (read this post about it)
• breast feeding pillow- I think I can manage without the boppy pillow. They have ample pillows to use and prop in any way imaginable.- just fine without it. They have everything, even a breast-friend pillow.
• books, movies, magazines.... we have each other to be entertained, I think. - yup, didn't need it. Didn't even turn the TV on once.

must-haves for the first week

These are items that helped our survival during the first week of our little spud's life...You may not agree with anything that what we used, but I found our sanity and cora's to be greatly improved with these items. As a mom you have to deal with endless judgements on what you should be doing. I hate the shoulds. So Matt and I did what we felt was best...and here is our list that may help you to be strong too if need be.

1. formula
Yes, my name is Lindsey, and I formula feed our baby. My baby was crying endlessly the first night looking frustrated with the latch or lack there of....and I pleaded with the nurses to just get me some damn formula. Oh yeah...and a nipple! Boy, the looks I got could almost send me to tears (oh, wait that's right...it did, many tears were shed). Cora took to the bottle with a smile and almost a giggle... so excited to just get some sustenance. A few days later it turns out cora wasn't getting any milk/colostrum from breast feeding because she was tongue tied. Thank goodness I used my new motherly intuition to supplement with formula, regardless of the judgements.... my baby was fed and nourished thanks to formula.

2. breast pump
After meeting with the lactation consultant and determining that our little cora was latching great, I was doing my part...and still she was getting almost zilch from my boobs.... we decided to do the pump thang. This enabled my milk to come in and give her breast milk from the bottle- awesome. The pump is actually okay to use. It doesn't hurt...just a little awkward watching and willing drop by drop to come out of the boobies. (gosh, I wonder what kind of traffic I am going to get to this blog now...  boobie searches galore.)

3. dr. brown's bottle with infant nipple
Our lactation consultant recommended these nipples as a super low-flow nipple for using the bottle. Of course having our infant being bottle fed was not ideal, but necessary. My milk still hasn't come in to the volume it should, due to Cora's tongue-tied nature in the first days. So, we supplement pumped breast milk with formula...either using this bottle/nipple combo or a tube and syringe to tube feed. It helps that grandparents, matt...they can all feed cora and soothe her.

4. bouncy chair
This is like a second set of hands in times of need. For instance...so that I can shower, do my hair, prepare the bottles, pump... super helpful. Ours kind of vibrates and has a white noise/music option. She likes it, but it would probably be fine without too.

5. these cheap "precious firsts" PJs from target
Cora turned out to be tiny... like too small for the 0-3 month clothes we purchased. So this newborn sized outfit is adorable and fits perfectly. They are cheap and at target...and simple. No silly writing on them, just great sleepwear that is snug for our little 7 pound 10 ounce babe.

6. soothies pacifier
The hospital actually frowned upon this one. It took me hunting down two nurses to get my hands on a pacifier our first night. As though being a mom isn't hard enough...I had to deal with the negative stigmas of giving my new baby a pacifier. Whatever.... I know the reasoning, but I needed to pacify my baby...and that's exactly what it does. She prefers this big clunky pacifier and will not take the myriad of other much cuter ones I bought. Go figure.

7. tucks pads
Eeesh. Healing from birthing a whole human is a wee bit painful. These tucks pads help to soothe. I didn't have a tear that required stitches, but none the less a tear. One day it should heal I am told. I am still waiting with tucks pads galore.

a spud pre-birth story.

[oh geez I was huge... huge, 39 weeks pregnant.... and had no idea what we were in for]

So here is part one of Cora Elm's birth story...I wrote this part week by week so that I wouldn't forget. And now I need to work on part two- her actual birth. It's funny, I am forgetting already what labor felt like. I loved reading birth stories when I was pregnant and pre-pregnancy. So enjoy if you care for this type of thing...

[38 weeks]
This started off as the longest week ever. Seriously. Time just seemed to drag on. I was 38 weeks pregnant... still working fulltime, and going to school and I just had enough. I was starting to get uncomfortable. The only plus side to this long week is that I got a job offer... which I accepted! Wahoo!! I really will be a nurse!! So with that huge relief off my mind, I felt like I could now deliver a baby. Which....I didn't. I really thought I would deliver on the earlier side.

[39 weeks]
I went into my 39 week appointment. My midwife offered to check my progress, which I declined but she thought I was going into labor so she wanted to check just to be sure. My contractions started to change the night before. Instead of being a squeezing pressure... it was now uncomfortable. Not downright painful... but a little tricky to breathe. I also couldn't sleep- maybe it was the nerves, maybe it was the contractions. But I thought this was it!! It wasn't it. I was 1cm dilated.... thinned...and 0 station....for those of you who care :) So, it was good...she is definitely sitting low, which is why I am a chronic waddler... but a little disappointing, which is why I declined initially. There is no benefit to these checks early on- I will either clearly be going into labor and pop out a baby or I won't.

My blood pressures were high and my lack of sleep with increased discomfort...I was placed on maternity leave a week early. It was a little weird, I love work.... but I really wasn't feeling the 12 hour busy shifts. I needed a break.

I tried to fill my hours of waiting this week at home....I made a new shopping list template for winco, finished sewing a diaper changing pad, dyed some onesies and swaddle blanket, cleaned the house again, did spud's laundry, packed my hospital bag, sat in the sun, made a closet ladder... I know, my midwife told me to get rest, put my feet up... that's great if I want to last 2 more weeks, but I wanted that babe out now-ish.

Throughout the week I had intermittent hours of painful contractions...just hoping that they would ramp up and be unbearable. But no, they would subside to bearable contractions. I guess I had been having braxton hicks- but I didn't find that changing what I was doing would make them less intense. They were just milder, and sporadic. I considered this to be my pre-early labor. A practice round.

A coworker of mine, who was 3 weeks ahead of me in baby due dates said at her week 39.... I feel like I'm going to be eternally pregnant. Yup. Check. I feel the same way. Sometimes I would catch myself thinking... what if I never go into labor?! Like seriously think this. Yikes. Then I realized I indeed do have an induction date. This spud will come out by week 41.  (FYI, my coworker is not still pregnant...she has a beautiful healthy baby girl)


So... on Tuesday I was having serious menstrual-esq cramps. I realized it had been 10 months free of period pains, and how nice it has been. I thought nothing of the back pain and cramping and went to bed, motrin and wine free....which normally would have been my cramp-go-to pre-pregnancy. I woke up at midnight-wednesday morning with intense cramps. I tried to take a dump....eat... move around in bed. Nothing worked, I quietly climbed back into bed next to matt ...spud did a few cartwheel feeling like things in my belly....and GUSH. Yup. My water broke at 1 am. I almost started laughing out loud as I ran to the bathroom in this very wet state I was in. I ran back into the bedroom and told matt my water broke. It felt like christmas morning....no joke. He smiled, laughed...and got up running around like a chicken with his head cut off super excited...ready to do this. Finally...I'm in labor at 39 weeks and 5 days!! Let's do this.

cora's first week...

Here are a few instagram pictures from cora's first week of life....

This week has been full of struggles with breastfeeding, tongue-tied-ness, sleeping, inconsolable crying, nocturnal-ness and figuring out life once again. We honestly had no idea how hard this would be, the first few nights we felt all alone that our baby was trickier than others... but this was just silliness, having an infant takes adapting. But it has also been the most incredible seven days of our lives. Matt and I can't stop smiling or laughing at how sensational our little daughter is. We made this little human.... pretty freakin cool. Her little facial expressions, squirmy body, and adorable graspy hands bring tears to our eyes, she makes us so happy. We love her. So, all three of us are adjusting this week number one... thank goodness for maternity and paternity leave, this time is so very precious.

our spud is born!

[welcome to the world cora elm]

She is beautiful and healthy....and all ours.

Cora was born on Wednesday April 18th 2012 at 4:49 pm.

She is 7 pounds 10 ounces and 19" tall.

She is perfect... We are in love.

I can't wait to tell you all about the whirlwind that our little 3 day old baby has created in our world. She is nothing like we expected...nor is parenthood... nor is the extreme almost unfathomable love and joy that she brings to our lives. These are the best days of our life, without question. Please bare with me as we attempt to leave survival mode, and come back to life.... blogging and all.

[week 39]

Yikes... I made it to week 39?! I thought for sure I was going to deliver early. Guess not! This little spud has some brain growth to do, I suppose.

It has been hard to just let my body do its thing. I have these irrational thoughts that maybe if I run up and down the stairs 10 times (who am I kidding, waddle slowly), bend over to do laundry 2 times and eat 5 fork-fulls of spicy chinese food I will send myself into labor. Like it's a silly math equation...one of those long frustrating word problems. Well, it's not. She will come when she is ready OR...I will be induced around week 41.

So we have been doing last minute projects, just trying to get ready. Each time I have an hour or so of painful contractions...I rack my brain trying to think...if this is it, what do we for sure need to get done before we drive into the hospital? So then it prompts us to finish up some lingering to-dos, because it wasn't it.

However, we have matt's family in town.... and my parents come this upcoming weekend...and my sister the week after... and matt's sisters in May. I can't wait for this little party to get started, a cora-welcome-to-the-world party. We are o-so ready.

hospital bag -packed!

[an over-sized tote bag I whipped up...and the most adorable PJs with fold-over mittens that I seam-ripped off the "brother loves me" or something patch from carters...and don't be fooled by the colors or toy trucks....we are still having a girl]

I thought this was a little silly... why would you pre-pack a hospital bag? Laboring isn't really as quick as the movies show it...oh shit...my water broke and race to the hospital... I think most people have hours of laboring at home. But, then the closer I got I realized, wow...I should really pack a hospital bag. What if I didn't have my chapstick? Yoga pants after delivery?...would I have to resort to my butt hanging out the back of my gown? Yes, I needed to pack a bag, stat.

So after referring to a bunch of fellow bloggers lists out there... I compiled a list of what "necessities" I needed to have. There are a ton of over-packers in this world, I am not one of them...nor am I a minimalist. I like to go tent camping... with our truck....and wine...and nice cheeses and meats...and dog beds... and an air mattress. That's my style of camping, so I find this situation rather similar. Matt calls me moderately moderate about everything in life... usually with some type of frowny face. He is more on the extreme/excessive side of things...he likes to live large, which is something I love about him. Can you tell I am processing how our life of two-dom will be rapidly changing to a family of three soon?! Anyways, I digress.

I like lists... they make me happy... so here is mine...

Hospital Bag:

• camera- a point and shoot for matt to use...that does black and white for my unflattering labor pictures.
• music- our iphones with playlists and pandora and little speaker
• camera and iphone battery charger
• chap stick.... maybe two of them.
• my own disolveable zofran... can I take this while laboring? My least favorite thing in the world is vomiting. I will ask this of our midwife next appointment
• snacks- I get rather cranky without food...crackers, cheese, granola bars, peanut butter, veggies
• matt's swim trunks for the standing jacuzzi
• matt's change of clothes/ pajamas
• matt's toiletries
• after delivery lounge wear... fresh, clean yoga pants, tank top, sweat shirt
• flip flops
• travel sized: shampoo, conditioner, face soap, face and body lotion, tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant
• makeup (the little makeup I do wear, I don't want to do without)
• hair dryer and curling rod (if I didn't have a short-styled hair cut, I could do without this stuff...but alas, I do. No ponytails for me)
• spud journal to write about our experiences that I don't want to forget
• one newborn pajama and one 0-3 pajama to go home in... extra snugly with fold over mittens and footies
• one blanket to swaddle/cover her on our way home
• infant nail clippers (this is silly, but the hospital can't cut your baby's nails, and I think it would drive me crazy...some of them are so very long! I don't want her to scratch herself)
• car seat safely installed in car
• box of candy for the nurses...maybe I like this sentiment because I will be a nurse soon? But screw it I like it, and I'm doing it.

Stuff I don't think I need:

• pads, underwear, my own hospital gown... this birthing process and recovery is bloody and gooey. I'd rather use their disposable gear or they-wash-it clothing
• diaper bag, lots of baby clothes, pacifiers, diapers...they supply all of this
• breast feeding pillow- I think I can manage without the boppy pillow. They have ample pillows to use and prop in any way imaginable.
• books, movies, magazines.... we have each other to be entertained, I think.

...Any suggestions/thoughts from moms out there?!

Of course I will re-visit this list after delivery for what we really needed... and how I shouldn't have been so silly.

[week 38]

Little spud is 38 weeks along! This week we had a few fun things happen to us...

I had a phenomenal hot stone massage. Oh my, I can't believe I have missed out on this method for so long. I go to an aveda salon/spa... and the hot stones are heavenly. I would recommend it! I left the table feeling... well....not pregnant. It was relaxing and very therapeutic.

I had my first nurse interview. This is something I had been dreading. Not only is it nerve wrecking for a real career type interview...but I am HUGE. Yeah, not my first choice, but it happened and it was fantastic. I don't know that I got the job, but it was a great interview and I feel less nervous now about subsequent ones. How many people interview for a job 38 weeks pregnant? Ha. Well, we did. I even felt okay about my interview outfit... big deal, seeing how I have been living in yoga pants and scrubs for the past 9 months.

This week may be my last prego picture? Not sure... but I will miss them. So I am relishing in the now. Which is probably why you are all inundated by my almost daily posts. I feel like I have so very much to get in before she arrives. So...blog posts galore.

spud box!! (a DIY co-sleeper)

[my dad and matt installing the spud box... in coordinating clothing and beards. nice job guys!]

My dad made Cora a fantastic and beautiful co-sleeper for our bedroom. It's made of pine that he ripped, sanded, and constructed into a "spud box." I got the co-sleeper idea from [here] a while back. I asked my dad what he thought about this project and jumped right to it! When my parents drove out to visit us they brought his creation. It's beautiful and will be incredibly useful.

As you can tell from the pictures, our bedroom is tiny. We have an older 1900-something house that we love for now...but the downside is... small rooms. We want to have Cora sleep in our room to be able to bond with her, provide for easier middle of the night feedings and have the benefits of co-sleeping for SIDS, etc. Pack 'n plays are too big, and why have something plastic when you can have a wood beauty? Plus we are two big people in a queen sized bed, cora needs her own space free of blankets and pillows to rest comfortably.

Spud box dimensions:
36" long x 16" wide with 12" sides

The two long slats slide under the mattress, and it has the two legs for support on the opposite side of the box. My dad says this project took him about 40 hours... but he is a perfectionist and chose to mill his own wood for the project. Hard to say how long it would take someone else.

My dad chose to make the 2 legs of the spud box with the ability to change the height. This will be great for when we move and *hopefully* upgrade to a bigger room with a king sized bed. This may be only a dream, but at least the spud box will fit regardless for our next babe too.

Foam:

I bought 3" high density foam at Jo Ann's. This normally would be about $40 for this chunk of foam, but with those 50% off coupon is was $20...which I think is still pricey. So make the cuts wisely! The foam was cut down to 36" x 16" with just a regular sharp kitchen knife. Super easy.

Spud-box sheet:
I mentioned in the previous post how my mom and I sewed the fitted sheets. Really quick to make. I also cut down a vinyl fitted sheet that usually is for cribs to prevent spill-absorption. This layer goes under the fitted sheet so that it protects our foam from nighttime accidents/spill outs. One fitted sheet came down to about $5 to make and about $7 for the vinyl sheet at Target.

We can use this co-sleeper up to 6 months we think and for our next in-the-future baby...tater tot.

Next step:
Thoroughly clean bedroom and wash all new fresh bedding for Cora's arrival....oh yeah, and kick the dogs out of the bedroom. Something we have been dreading, we love sleeping in the same room with them. Which brings us to the next project- similar to the DIY dutch door....a DIY swing dog-gate for our bedroom!