[and yes, that is our little 2 week old spud holding her own head up.... what the heck, she has a strong neck]
Oh, motherhood. I know so much more now.
After Cora turned about one month life got a bit better for us. Not to say life was bad in the first month.... it was just uber challenging, sleep deprived, and borderline...what the hell did we just do? We loved our life of just matt and I and the dogs.... we loved pregnancy.... we did not expect what was to come- even though we thought we were as ready as anyone could be. So I had to recover from child birth, adapt to our new life with a newborn, but also kind of mourn our old life. This was the new us... and it will get fantastic again.
Now, however, Cora has more happy hours than sad ones.... she is smiling, little laughs, she loves bath time, she notices our facial expressions, her awake time is increasing and with less crying.... we are getting the hang of parenting, we are understanding our daughter and feeling less incompetent, the google-ing late at night for terms like " fussy baby, sleep solutions, crying, gas, reflux...etc..." has decreased. We can see our life coming back...not just yet, but it will....and it will be a brand new incredible life we've never experienced before.
I was also wrong on a few more things... I thought I could handle leaving the house after she was born... I was wrong... I crave to be near her, to smell her, to stare at her little tiny body for hours on end. I can't stand to be away even now writing this post. Our sweet little girl needs to be held every second of the day.... but I love that time more than anything. I'd rather be holding her than eating, sleeping, shopping... anything. I love her more than I knew I would. I feel like a mom already...and I love it. I had no idea how strong this love would be and so quickly.
I hardly have time to reflect on what a journey this has been already. It's not like the endless hours during pregnancy that I had to reflect and process being pregnant...blog endlessly...and just sit and think. No, I don't have time to do all of that now.... but it's ok. I feel like the emotions I have are huge and may take me over if I tried to process what just happened in our life. Motherhood. Parenthood. Crazy huge amazing deal.