just waiting...

Um. Pregnancy is crazy. No, I am done talking about swollen ankles (for now)...but this unknown of when it's all going down is craaaazy. When am I going to go into labor? Will my water break? When will the last contraction I have start a rapid fire of consistent contractions that puts me into labor? This is exciting!!

Part of me wants this babe out... like now. I am ready to see her, I am ready to be out of this bulky immobile body, I want our blissful summertime to be here with spud in our arms. I want to see matt learn how to change a diaper and hold his tiny daughter in his big arms. I want this all now. So I dream of stripping membranes and inductions. Seriously.

Then the other part of me wants to relish in this time and put the side effects of pregnancy aside....and just be utterly present. I want to focus on her little body tossing around in my belly for these last days, to relish in matt and I being a two-dom, and process what is about to happen to us and our life. I also really want that thrill of...oh crap...this could be it! Let's go to the hospital!! ...instead of a planned induction. I really do want to be patient, but it's tricky!

The unknown is crazy. Could it be tonight? Could it be exactly on our due date of April 20th?! Maybe I will just have to wait and be induced April 27th? So Matt and I are feeling this unknown...and anxious to finish our long list of spud-to-dos. None of it absolutely has to get done, but it would be nice to check some things off our list. Maybe help us sleep better at night. HA.

So, time is ticking. Just like before when I was thinking every single day...maybe now I could be pregnant... now I fill my head with oh.... maybe this could be the day I meet our sweet cora.