[and yes, that is our little 2 week old spud holding her own head up.... what the heck, she has a strong neck]
Oh, motherhood. I know so much more now.
After Cora turned about one month life got a bit better for us. Not to say life was bad in the first month.... it was just uber challenging, sleep deprived, and borderline...what the hell did we just do? We loved our life of just matt and I and the dogs.... we loved pregnancy.... we did not expect what was to come- even though we thought we were as ready as anyone could be. So I had to recover from child birth, adapt to our new life with a newborn, but also kind of mourn our old life. This was the new us... and it will get fantastic again.
Now, however, Cora has more happy hours than sad ones.... she is smiling, little laughs, she loves bath time, she notices our facial expressions, her awake time is increasing and with less crying.... we are getting the hang of parenting, we are understanding our daughter and feeling less incompetent, the google-ing late at night for terms like " fussy baby, sleep solutions, crying, gas, reflux...etc..." has decreased. We can see our life coming back...not just yet, but it will....and it will be a brand new incredible life we've never experienced before.
I was also wrong on a few more things... I thought I could handle leaving the house after she was born... I was wrong... I crave to be near her, to smell her, to stare at her little tiny body for hours on end. I can't stand to be away even now writing this post. Our sweet little girl needs to be held every second of the day.... but I love that time more than anything. I'd rather be holding her than eating, sleeping, shopping... anything. I love her more than I knew I would. I feel like a mom already...and I love it. I had no idea how strong this love would be and so quickly.
I hardly have time to reflect on what a journey this has been already. It's not like the endless hours during pregnancy that I had to reflect and process being pregnant...blog endlessly...and just sit and think. No, I don't have time to do all of that now.... but it's ok. I feel like the emotions I have are huge and may take me over if I tried to process what just happened in our life. Motherhood. Parenthood. Crazy huge amazing deal.
exactly.
ReplyDeleteLook at you and your little girl! So wonderful! I think we all have preconceived notions on things and as long as we adjust when needed we are doing just fine :)I am so glad you and your husband are settling into a routine with your little lady and loving every minute of it!
ReplyDeleteyep. I am still mourning the old life a little. But is does get better and better. Every day.
ReplyDeleteI love to read your honest reflection on things so far. I know life is going to change so drastically when our little Nugget comes in September, but it's so hard to really know what to expect. I hope you all can continue to find a new and wonderful kind of normal.
ReplyDeletethanks! good luck with pregnancy.... sooo much fun!!! you never know what struggles you'll get with your little one, but just enjoy your time now... focus on making your relationship strong and you will enjoy it all...
DeleteI know, motherhood is nothing like we think it will be! It is so different when it is your own child you are holding. Every little cry...you want to make it better. It physically hurts to hear your baby cry! That part gets better...but it still hurts me, even with G being 18 months, and most of his cries being "alligator tears" =) What are your plans when you start your job? Does your work have a day care?
ReplyDeleteoh... alligator tears. Her little frowny-face, fat-pouty-bottom-tip already breaks my heart. we had matt quit his job to stay at home full time this summer for me starting work. then he will be back in school this fall, not working but taking care of cora too- we may have to do daycare for me to sleep during the day. night shifts as a new nurse will be tricky! My work does have daycare and so does our university...so to be determined!
DeleteI hear ya!
ReplyDeleteHey Lindsey~
ReplyDeleteI just saw your post on our blog about the sleeping situation at our house with Ethan. Rest assure, we have no idea what we're doing in the sleep department :) We're still in the trial and error phase too, so don't feel like you are alone!! Even on babe #3, they are all so different and have different patterns. We're still working on the 'manual' for Ethan! The first couple of weeks, Ethan slept in between Josh and I in bed, propped up in a boppy (yes, our pediatrician would faint!) Since then, we've been putting him to sleep in his crib, on his belly (again, pediatrician fainting.) We've found that all of our kids do better on their tummy's, so we just roll with it. We have a movement monitor that gives us some peace of mind knowing that the little dude is breathing! Ethan's 'space' is technically part of our bedroom (we live in an old tudor home, where the whole upstairs/attic is the master with a 'nursery nook' attached.) So, he's in his crib, but really still in our room (and, a lot of nights, he ends up snuggled next to me in bed because we're so tired of getting up. Definitely not doctor approved, but something about baby smelling his momma makes him 'sleep like a baby' ha!) Like you and Matt, we try to rotate turns with middle of the night feeds. As you've read, he has no schedule, so sometimes he's hungry every hour, sometimes every two, we're lucky if he goes three. It's exhausting, but it WILL get better. I promise ya! We've found that 3 months is a big milestone in terms of working out a sleep rhythm, so focus on that. It will help you keep your sanity :)
You're doing great momma! You have great instincts and it won't be long before you find a rhythm! That little beauty will be sleeping like a champ soon :)